We are almost near the end of 2023 and usually at this time I tend to reflect on the events that happened throughout the year. I think about my achievements and mistakes, what I should have kept the same, and what I should have done differently. There are six key takeaways I learned this year that I want to share with you, and I hope that you will keep them in mind as we approach the New Year.
Lesson 1: Don’t be a slave to debt.
I went back to university to do a master’s degree in management. In addition to the hefty student loan I acquired, I also accumulated a massive total of £8000 in credit card debt. I also borrowed money from my sister which also added to my debt. But I was determined to pay it all off.
I watched numerous YouTube videos and read many articles online about how to get out of debt. All the time I was trying to pay off my credit card bill, it felt like I was trapped in a deep financial hole and no matter how hard I tried to climb out of it, the hole seemed to get deeper.
I felt like I was only working to pay bills and pay off debt. The money was not mine, it belonged to the bank. I could not enjoy the money I earned from my job because of the dark cloud of debt always looming over my head.
It is written in Proverbs 22:7, “The rich rule over the poor, and the borrower is a slave to the lender” (NIV). I felt like I was a slave to debt and the only way I could be set free was to pay off my debt as quickly as possible.
So, I came up with a plan. I wrote down the balance I owed on my credit card and calculated how many months it would take to pay it off and how much I had to pay each month. I didn’t just pay the monthly minimum payment, I also put in extra to cover the interest. I stuck to my payment plan and within 2 years, I was able to reduce my credit card debt to £5000.
Then a friend suggested that I apply for a loan to pay off the rest of my credit card debt as the interest rate on the loan would be lower than that on my credit card bill and I would be able to pay off the loan faster. At the time, the interest on my credit card was 28% and the interest on the loan I applied for was 14%.
I took my friend’s advice and was able to get a loan and I paid off the balance on my credit card. Then I spent the rest of the time paying off my loan. It took me a total of 4 years to get out of debt and I made the final payment on my loan on 31 October of this year.
As soon as I made the last payment, it felt like a huge burden was lifted off my back. I felt like I was set free! I rejoiced and thanked God for helping me to finally remove the burden of debt off my shoulders. From that day, I made a promise that I would never allow myself to become a slave to debt again!
Lesson 2: Try to stay away from negative, toxic people, including family members.
I have a family member who has a very negative attitude and a toxic personality. I will not get into the personal details, but she showed me that she does not have any respect for me. She used to ask me for money all the time. She always promised to pay me back, but she never did.
She tried to manipulate me to do stuff that she wanted me to do. She also tried to turn other family members against me by accusing me of things that I did not do. And if I refused to ‘obey’ her demands, she would get angry and scream at me, hurl insults at me, and curse me off.
She used to send endless text messages and WhatsApp messages, saying all kinds of nasty things to me. Her messages usually consisted of hurtful words written in anger and hatred. I was filled with anxiety every time I saw messages from her. If my phone rang or if I received any messages, I would dread picking up my phone, worrying about the horrible things she was going to say to me.
Her negative energy was starting to have an impact on my mental health. But I decided that I had enough of her toxic behavior. So, I blocked her. I blocked her on WhatsApp first, but then she started sending direct messages to me, so I blocked her completely so that I would no longer receive any more messages or phone calls from her. I did it for my mental health, well-being, and peace of mind.
Unfortunately, I could not cut her off completely. I had to keep the lines of communication open because she was taking care of my mother. But I warned her that if she started saying nasty, hurtful things to me again then I would block her number. Things were a lot more peaceful as she realized that I was serious. Now we only communicate with each other when it is absolutely necessary.
Even the Bible warns us to stay away from people who display negative attitudes and behaviors. In 2 Timothy 3:2-5, it is written, “People will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boastful, proud, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, without love, unforgiving, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not lovers of the good, treacherous, rash, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God—having a form of godliness but denying its power. Have nothing to do with such people” (NIV).
What I learned from this incident is that when someone in your life starts treating you badly, you need to cut them off. Stay away from them as much as possible, even if it is a family member because at the end of the day, you need to take care of your mental health and wellbeing. If the person makes you feel unhappy, depressed, and angry, cut them out of your life. Once you remove that negative person, you will start to see an improvement in your mental health.
Lesson 3: Surround yourself with positive people.
It is not always easy to know who supports you and who is against you. But I am happy to say that I learned who my real friends are. I’m not saying that there are people in my life who are pretending to be my friends. But I learned recently that there are some people who I deal with every day who showed me how much they really care about me. I have several examples, but I will only mention two of them.
For instance, one of my colleagues nominated me for an award because she said that I worked very hard to help our customers, sometimes working through my lunch break to ensure that they got all the support they needed to get back into employment. This may not seem like a big deal to others, but it showed me that I had true friends who thought I was worthy enough to be nominated for an award. Not many people would do that for their friends.
What my friend did for me reminds me of a Bible verse: “Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing” (1 Thessalonians 5:11, NIV).
The other example was when my friends persuaded me to apply for a managerial role. Two of us were shortlisted for a job interview. My friend attended her interview before me, so she remembered all the questions the hiring manager asked. I asked her how the interview was. She said that it was okay, and she gave me a list of all the questions that she could remember that they asked her. I was surprised and very grateful for the help because I was very nervous and wanted to do my best.
When the day came for my interview, the hiring manager asked the exact same questions that my friend told me they would ask. I was very prepared and answered each question with confidence. Unfortunately, neither of us got the job, but it made me appreciate my friend who took the time to help me prepare for the interview for a job that we both wanted.
From the two examples above, I learned that it is better to surround yourself with positive people who will support you, make you feel valued and appreciated, and who will help you reach your full potential.
Lesson 4: Investing is not as hard as I thought.
I have read so many financial books, read numerous blogs, and watched plenty of YouTube videos about saving money and making money. I have heard repeatedly that if you want to build wealth, one of the things you must do is invest your money. Investing was always a term that I thought was only associated with rich people. How could someone like me, who was on a low income, ever get into investing?
Also, as a Christian, I wasn’t sure if investing money was the right thing to do. But I read a passage in the Bible that encourages us to invest. It is written, “Invest in seven ventures, yes, in eight; you do not know what disaster may come upon the land” (Ecclesiastes 11:2, NIV).
One day, I came across a YouTube video by Toby Newbatt, a British investor, who made a tutorial video on how to open a Vanguard UK stocks and shares ISA for beginners. I followed the tutorial step by step and opened my first investment account with Vanguard with only £100.
I bought shares in the S&P 500 Index Fund and my investment has been growing ever since. I prefer to be a passive investor, which means that I can invest and forget about it. That’s why I invested in an index fund instead of buying separate stocks. I didn’t want to spend all my free time watching the market or trading stocks. Of course, I am aware that investing is risky and my investments can go up and down in value, so I could get back less than what I invested. But by doing research and educating myself, I will ensure that the investments I make will be less likely to lose value.
What I learned is that anyone can become an investor. It is important to educate yourself by reading a lot of books and blogs about investing and watching financial videos. I decided to put into practice what I learned about investing to grow my income.
Lesson 5: Don’t get stuck in the comfort zone.
I have been working in the same job for over 3 years. The job is great, but it is not as challenging as it used to be. But I feel comfortable because I get along well with my colleagues and the managers, and I know how to do my job well.
But lately, it hasn’t been as fulfilling as it once was, and I have been feeling like I need to do something different. A new position was being advertised internally and I was interested in applying. It was not a promotion. I would not be paid more money, but I would be doing something different.
I talked to a colleague who was in a similar role, and she gave me a bit of information about what the job entailed. I knew that I could do that job, but I did not apply for it because I was afraid of stepping out of my comfort zone. Someone else got the job and now I regret not applying for it.
The job would have been challenging, but I know that I would have had plenty of support and I would have learned new skills. Because I had gotten too comfortable in my current job, I missed the opportunity to take on a new role. So, the lesson I learned is that you need to step out of your comfort zone so that you don’t miss out on opportunities for personal growth, learning, and success. As it is written, “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future” (Jeremiah 29:11, NIV).
Lesson 6: Prioritize your health and well-being.
In 2023, I noticed that my health had deteriorated, and I ended up going to the hospital so many times for various reasons. I have felt burnt out, and extremely tired, and I have noticed I have been getting sick a lot more and it takes a lot longer for me to get well. I realized that I needed to start taking better care of my body. So, I eat a lot more fruits and vegetables, I try to cut down on junk food, and I exercise more by joining a gym.
I not only take care of my physical health, but I also take care of my spiritual and mental health. For it is written. “For physical training is of some value, but godliness has value for all things, holding promise for both the present life and the life to come” (1 Timothy 4:8, NIV). I spend more time reading my Bible and praying. I also intend to start going to church more often so that I can fellowship with other believers. Additionally, I try to focus my mind on positive things and live my life in a way that glorifies God.
In conclusion, the last 12 months have been rough. There were good times and bad times. I achieved most of the goals I set for the year, and I also made some mistakes. What I have learned is that life is an ongoing learning process and I plan to take the lessons I learned into the New Year. I hope that you have found this post useful and that you will make some new resolutions in 2024. And remember, don’t let debt enslave you, avoid negative people, surround yourself with positive people, investing money is a good thing, break out of your comfort zone, and prioritize your health. I hope that our lives will improve in 2024.
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